June 27, 2010
Major packing of my room today and I have 2 big bags of clothes to give away. I can't believe some of them are still in the plastic bag I brought them home with and now I don't want them anymore. How wasteful.
Chanced upon a few letters to me and I realised how loved I am, and also how I take people close to me for granted - especially the girl that treated me as her bff. Hope she's doing fine. Anyway, I'm cool.
And there's this paticular letter from my dad that always make me cry.
Dated 23/11/03
Dearest Xin,
On 11th November 1988, you came to this world, it brought us great joy and at the same time, great anxiety cos' you were born with a hole in the heart and there was a 50/50 chance, the fear of losing you was too great.
Thank God we lived thru it and you have grown up a happy child till some year of late which I've never understood why.
I've never given much attention to your academic results for a few reasone ; ie 1. If you've done your part (doing your studies & homework), it does not matter to me whether you pass or fail so that u will not be stressed, 2. if u should pass, it entitles u to approach me to sign the result slips as a kind of motivation, 3. Most importantly, I have never believed that the results reflected your true capabilities.
As I woke up in the middle of the night, that streams of light telling me that you are working hard on your computer (playing game), it sadden me, it really do that I was not able to do anything about it. I reckon its like a candle burning its life away, but unlike the candle which sacrifice itself and gives out light. It is of much comfort to know that of late, there is much improvement in your school results and on top of that, u look more cheerful.
It really saddened me, a highly self motivated guy that I was not able to impact to you. I've observed Dr Ernest since the early days when he introduced the program to Singapore, his success with the youths and his mentoring work with other adults, I've no double that he will be of much help not only in showing you the way, motivating you & above all giving you direction in life & a purpose.
Once again, I do not pay much attention to your past results cos I sincerely believed that you can achieve much more. You have the natural talents of assembling things without refering to manual and working with computers.
"Time is always there when there is love and nothing is too much trouble"
"What is love, love is real"
"Luv means never having to say you are sorry"
There are so many things written about luv.
I am a simple man, luv is luv and you have my unqualified luv, lots of luv.
Yuen
23/11/03
From my mummy :
My dearest Xin,
Do you know what your name means? "Yi" is for the arts and "Xin" means happiness. Pa and I wish that you'll grow up happy and you know what? People live up to their names.
As a child you are so, so, so cute and lovable. It is so comforting to come home and carry and hug you and all my problems melt away.
Now you've grown beautifully. And I'm glad I see you through those years. I love you and always will, no matter what. I said I love you infinitely. That's true and you must always remember that.
In case you don't know we know - You are a smart girl, very smart! Pa said many times you're very smart. You're also very independent. You went to school on your own even at a very young age. You learn skiing & skating so quickly, can bowl, do the monkey bars, got gold for your NAFA and scored well at your computer games. I admire your courage in scaling down that 3-story thingie and all those obstacle course. Wish I was there. And did you notice how happy you looked when you brought Sweet Heart home? I saw that and see the love you have for animals. You have been taking care of it and cleaning the tub and bring responsible for it and that's good. Also, you have the lucky star. I already knew that because I got so many lucky draws when I was pregnant with you.
My only worry is your computer games. I wish you wouldn't use the comp. so much. One thing to learn from the comp. is - what is it telling you? Being focused, and with lots of practise, you can do it and win. Do the same with weak subjects. Time is your greatest asset. Use it wisely because yesterday is already gone. If things are too difficult or too overwhelming - litle by little, day by day - it can be done. Don't run away from it, face it! It takes courage , peserverance, action and of course that means getting out of our comfort zone into the uncomfortable. But things will always be the same if we don't change the situation.
Remember that one year when you work so hard studying from cover to cover for your Chinese and didn't pass? The passing and failure of that exam did not upset me. I saw the effort you put in, that alone is over and above whatever marks you get and I'm proud of you. The method of study may be wrong but you went through the whole text book. It is not an easy task. You have one more year to go before the "O" levels. Don't look back! Don't give up. Just do it! It's just a few months and you can enjoy yourself later.
Life is a journey. We are all given a certain amount of time on this earth. Be happy! If you are not happy now, whhen is the time to be happy? You can control your reaction to things that are out of your control. Somebody once said we can either make ourselves miserable or we can make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.
Pa and i love you very much and we are very happy that you've been happier lately. If life gets too tough, come to us. Talk to us And you know if you need a hug, I'll be waiting.
Love you always,
Mummy
23 November 2003
---
On a cheery note, 12 more days! :D
-nIx- @ [[9:58 PM]]
; time to make things right
Major packing of my room today and I have 2 big bags of clothes to give away. I can't believe some of them are still in the plastic bag I brought them home with and now I don't want them anymore. How wasteful.
Chanced upon a few letters to me and I realised how loved I am, and also how I take people close to me for granted - especially the girl that treated me as her bff. Hope she's doing fine. Anyway, I'm cool.
And there's this paticular letter from my dad that always make me cry.
Dated 23/11/03
Dearest Xin,
On 11th November 1988, you came to this world, it brought us great joy and at the same time, great anxiety cos' you were born with a hole in the heart and there was a 50/50 chance, the fear of losing you was too great.
Thank God we lived thru it and you have grown up a happy child till some year of late which I've never understood why.
I've never given much attention to your academic results for a few reasone ; ie 1. If you've done your part (doing your studies & homework), it does not matter to me whether you pass or fail so that u will not be stressed, 2. if u should pass, it entitles u to approach me to sign the result slips as a kind of motivation, 3. Most importantly, I have never believed that the results reflected your true capabilities.
As I woke up in the middle of the night, that streams of light telling me that you are working hard on your computer (playing game), it sadden me, it really do that I was not able to do anything about it. I reckon its like a candle burning its life away, but unlike the candle which sacrifice itself and gives out light. It is of much comfort to know that of late, there is much improvement in your school results and on top of that, u look more cheerful.
It really saddened me, a highly self motivated guy that I was not able to impact to you. I've observed Dr Ernest since the early days when he introduced the program to Singapore, his success with the youths and his mentoring work with other adults, I've no double that he will be of much help not only in showing you the way, motivating you & above all giving you direction in life & a purpose.
Once again, I do not pay much attention to your past results cos I sincerely believed that you can achieve much more. You have the natural talents of assembling things without refering to manual and working with computers.
"Time is always there when there is love and nothing is too much trouble"
"What is love, love is real"
"Luv means never having to say you are sorry"
There are so many things written about luv.
I am a simple man, luv is luv and you have my unqualified luv, lots of luv.
Yuen
23/11/03
From my mummy :
My dearest Xin,
Do you know what your name means? "Yi" is for the arts and "Xin" means happiness. Pa and I wish that you'll grow up happy and you know what? People live up to their names.
As a child you are so, so, so cute and lovable. It is so comforting to come home and carry and hug you and all my problems melt away.
Now you've grown beautifully. And I'm glad I see you through those years. I love you and always will, no matter what. I said I love you infinitely. That's true and you must always remember that.
In case you don't know we know - You are a smart girl, very smart! Pa said many times you're very smart. You're also very independent. You went to school on your own even at a very young age. You learn skiing & skating so quickly, can bowl, do the monkey bars, got gold for your NAFA and scored well at your computer games. I admire your courage in scaling down that 3-story thingie and all those obstacle course. Wish I was there. And did you notice how happy you looked when you brought Sweet Heart home? I saw that and see the love you have for animals. You have been taking care of it and cleaning the tub and bring responsible for it and that's good. Also, you have the lucky star. I already knew that because I got so many lucky draws when I was pregnant with you.
My only worry is your computer games. I wish you wouldn't use the comp. so much. One thing to learn from the comp. is - what is it telling you? Being focused, and with lots of practise, you can do it and win. Do the same with weak subjects. Time is your greatest asset. Use it wisely because yesterday is already gone. If things are too difficult or too overwhelming - litle by little, day by day - it can be done. Don't run away from it, face it! It takes courage , peserverance, action and of course that means getting out of our comfort zone into the uncomfortable. But things will always be the same if we don't change the situation.
Remember that one year when you work so hard studying from cover to cover for your Chinese and didn't pass? The passing and failure of that exam did not upset me. I saw the effort you put in, that alone is over and above whatever marks you get and I'm proud of you. The method of study may be wrong but you went through the whole text book. It is not an easy task. You have one more year to go before the "O" levels. Don't look back! Don't give up. Just do it! It's just a few months and you can enjoy yourself later.
Life is a journey. We are all given a certain amount of time on this earth. Be happy! If you are not happy now, whhen is the time to be happy? You can control your reaction to things that are out of your control. Somebody once said we can either make ourselves miserable or we can make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.
Pa and i love you very much and we are very happy that you've been happier lately. If life gets too tough, come to us. Talk to us And you know if you need a hug, I'll be waiting.
Love you always,
Mummy
23 November 2003
---
On a cheery note, 12 more days! :D
-nIx- @ [[9:58 PM]]
